Friendship

friendship.

When we think of friendship we think of good times right? We think of shared past experiences and fun times, we think of times when we needed someone to listen or give advice and someone was there. The problem with that is frankly, it's all crap. There's no such thing as friendship. There's providing a free service for someone or them providing the same to you. When it comes down to it...when you are seriously desperate, you only got you.
I know there are "friends" of mine out there who would/will read this and be seriously offended, so if you are one of them...I ask you this. Were you there for me when I was diagnosed with all my shit? When I was young and homeless. did YOU offer me a place to sleep? Have YOU ever brought me chicken soup when I was sick? How about when my father died, did YOU offer to hold my hand or hug me when I cried?? Did you EVEN understand why I was crying over that????
I did that for you which you needed. I held your hair when you puked....I called the cops to deal with your problem when you couldn't. I let you LIVE in my home and risked me getting kicked out for it. I talked you out of the bathroom when you got cold feet. I am the only one who knows your dark secret...and I never told.
I am not your entertainment anymore. I am done celebrating YOU and being left in the corner whilst you shine. I will be gone before you. My time is set and there's nothing I can do to stop it. When I'm gone, you will still make it your party, your sorrow, your loss...but that's just fine...cus you won't let me down anymore.